Hello!

How are you all doing? I wish i could say im doing good but im not.....

I started the day with getting a anxiety attack on my 2nd lesson. We were going to vaccinate 2 dogs, i was going to write the journal on the 2nd dog. I was so nervous and i started to shake, i could not breath....i even started to sweat 0.0 It also feelt like i was going to faint, like any second. But it got better after the lesson and we had lunch. The two last lessons we were going to work with old homeworks we had not done yet and stuff. I was working watching my favorite Youtuber Jimmie Star when i saw i had a comment. And someone told me that im a ugly pathetic jerk ;-; That comment hurt me so badly beacues of my anxiety that i was about to cry but i didn´t. So that comment has been with me the whole day. I know i should not think about stuff like that the whole time but it´s hard when your anxiety keeps on reminding you about that.....

So my anxety whent from a 7 to a 10. I hate to feel like this but it´s so hard to be happy. Everyone thinks im happy and smiling but.... It´s getting harder and harder each day to smile and laugh. I just wanna cry but i cant, i have no tears left. Im so sad and down that i dont even know where to go

, but there is one thing that makes me happy. And makes me wanna stay, and it´s my beautiful, amazingly girlfriend Kätlin <3 If you are reading this babe, i just want to say....thanks for being here for me. I love you!   

//Jon-chan